99 Percent Mineby Published 29 Jan 2019
|99 Percent Mine.pdf|
|Publisher||William Morrow Paperbacks|
Crush: a strong and often short-lived infatuation, particularly for someone beyond your reach…
Darcy Barrett has undertaken a global survey of men. She’s travelled the world, and can categorically say that no one measures up to Tom Valeska, whose only flaw is that Darcy’s twin brother Jamie saw him first and claimed him forever as his best friend. Despite Darcy’s best efforts, Tom’s off limits and loyal to her brother, 99%. That’s the problem with finding her dream man at age eight and peaking in her photography career at age twenty—ever since, she’s had to learn to settle for good enough.
When Darcy and Jamie inherit a tumble-down cottage from their grandmother, they’re left with strict instructions to bring it back to its former glory and sell the property. Darcy plans to be in an aisle seat halfway across the ocean as soon as the renovations start, but before she can cut and run, she finds a familiar face on her porch: house-flipper extraordinaire Tom’s arrived, he’s bearing power tools, and he’s single for the first time in almost a decade.
Suddenly Darcy’s considering sticking around to make sure her twin doesn’t ruin the cottage’s inherent magic with his penchant for grey and chrome. She’s definitely not staying because of her new business partner’s tight t-shirts, or that perfect face that's inspiring her to pick up her camera again. Soon sparks are flying—and it’s not the faulty wiring. It turns out one percent of Tom’s heart might not be enough for Darcy anymore. This time around, she’s switching things up. She’s going to make Tom Valeska 99 percent hers.
99 Percent Mine Reviews
Thanks to William Morrow Paperbacks for the free review copy!
What..... in tarnation...... did I just read????????
Sally Thorne really, really flopped with this book. This book was so bad that I'm questioning if The Hating Game is even as good as I remember it. This book is a HOT mess and I don't know where to begin.
The main downfall of this book and the reason why I cannot give it more than one star is because the dialogue and writing of this book are downright incomprehensible. There are no transitions between anything or explanation about any characters or the setting or literally ANYTHING that I seriously got anxiety when I was reading this thinking I was dyslexic and I was misreading sentences. But no, it was just how this book was written. From the characters' interactions and dialogue making no sense whatsoever to the remarkable lack of detail and the disjointed writing, it was such a pain to get through. For instance, the first few chapters of this book are set at a bar where she works, but then it's literally never mentioned again??? And in the middle of reading this book I kept having to stop and reread the synopsis just to remind myself what was happening. It's by far the WEIRDEST writing ever that says a lot without actually telling you anything. It's like you're listening to Darcy's thoughts but she isn't actually describing what's happening, and her thoughts aren't all too bright or interesting, either.
I initially liked that Darcy was badass and had this take-no-bullshit attitude, but very quickly I realized how flimsy that was and that none of the characters actually had any personality. Sally Thorne has really funny writing, but funny writing is not a character personality like she tried to make it be. Darcy was supposed to be strong but flawed, but I just found her flawed. She was alternatingly pathetic and annoying throughout the book. She was so whiney, she was like a child. In general, none of these characters behave like human adults. Tom was an asshole because he withheld info from her, disappeared every time it got angsty, and snapped at her because he was stressed about his own shit. There are no speaker tags after dialogue, so everything gets muddled. Everything just jumps around and I hated, hated, hated this book's writing.
I hated the relationship in this book. It made NO sense. Darcy has been in love with Tom since they were kids and he felt the same, but when she says she wants to have sex with him (literally yelling "get in me" at him), he's like "omg no im not good enough for you i could never" AND THEN 250 PAGES OF PINING GO BY and Darcy's like "no you're good enough" then they smash???????? I'm so confused. I'm not even coherent like WHAT is this book? NOTHING is explained and i dont know if they're supposed to love or hate each other or why there was angst in the first place.
Also, I had a massive issue with the 2008-brand of massive overprotectiveness these characters sported. Darcy had this insane daydream that Tom was a giant, imaginary wolf who protected her and she brought this up multiple times throughout the book pretending he was alongside her. Uhhhhhhhhhhh ok??? Furry side plot?????? Miserable. Also, the title concept of being "100 percent mine" was super problematic, and the characters insinuated many times that they would kill anyone who the other person tried to hook up with or be with. Darcy envisioned killing Tom's ex-girlfriend multiple times. In a fight with her brother after it was revealed that Tom and Darcy got together, she childishly tells her brother, "I'm keeping him." It was just so wildly gross and unrealistic and childish like "this is my toy and you can't play with it."
the ONLY good part about this book was that Tom and Darcy had moments of softness, but they were inevitably ruined by stupid dialogue or weird emotional angst. I can see what this book was trying to do, and honestly it has the bones and conflict set-up of a good book, especially with Sally Thorne's ability to write soft characters and emotional angst, but those moments were so fleeting and this book was ultimately ruined by a lack of explanation of anything and the strangest, most disjointed writing I have EVER encountered. Long story short, I'm gonna pretend this doesn't exist and keep recommending The Hating Game.
I don't even know what this is about, but after The Hating Game:
this just...wasn't The Hating Game.
review to come :(
IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING.
THERE'S A COVER! THERE'S A SYNOPSIS! EVERYTHING IS COMING TOGETHER!
Why didn't anyone TELL ME????
THE TITLE CHANGED. THE RELEASE DATE WAS PUSHED BACK. THERE IS NO LONGER A SYNOPSIS???
SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING OR AT THE VERY LEAST GIVE ME A PAPER BAG TO BREATHE INTO.
My feelings on this book, as told in The Office gifs.
Me reading this synopsis:
Me remembering that I’ll read anything Sally Thorne writes after The Hating Game:
Me thinking about all the times I’ve been disappointed by my most anticipated books:
Probably me the day this book finally comes out:
ARC provided by the publisher via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.
“Maybe he’s 1 percent mine. That has to be enough.”
Sally Thorne’s long awaited and most anticipated sophomore release, 99 Percent Mine was truly a wild ride for me. I’ll be honest, it took me a while to warm up to this story and especially to this main character, but I ended up enjoying this one for the most part. But, sadly, it is no The Hating Game, or at least it wasn’t for me.
This story stars Darcy Barrett who is a wedding photographer who is currently working at a bar, while also living in a house that her grandmother left to her and her twin brother, Jamie, after she passed away. Darcy has never been known to stay in one place for long, but she can no longer find her passport, so she is sort of stuck in the town she has grown up in. Plus, the house that was left to Darcy and Jamie desperately needs to be completely remodeled.
And one night when Darcy is coming home from work at the bar, she realizes that the contractor on the remodeling job is none other that her and Jamie’s best friend, Tom. Who also is the one guy who has been able to get under Darcy’s skin and into her heart, except when she had the opportunity to finally have him, she completely blew it, and now he is engaged to someone else.
Sounds like a pretty good read, right? I actually adored the set up and the actual unique setting of this story. Okay, now that we have the basic premise out of the way, I want to talk a little bit more about Darcy and why she was the main reason I didn’t enjoy this story for the first fifty perfect. For one, Darcy is written to be so edgy and quirky and constantly let’s you know it. I lost count of how many times she or other characters remarked on her short hair and nipple piercing. (Side note, who gets one nipple pierced in 2019? Like, come on.) But basically, this was all super annoying and felt so forced to me.
Next, Darcy is living with a very serious chronic heart condition, which she completely ignores throughout most of the book. This ended up being very triggering for me. I don’t want to make this review about me and my family, but if you’ve seen a few other reviews I have talked about my dad’s heart condition before, and how much it has impacted me, my family, and my anxiety’s life. So, reading about a character that just didn’t give a shit was really bothering to me. Especially since she relies on her twin brother to literally save her life. Trust me, I completely understand depression and not caring to better yourself or take care of your health, but she just chose to rely on her brother and make really poor choices, no matter her mental state. And friends, I promise you, no dick is ever worth your health or your life. I swear to every higher power.
“I’m the client. I’m his best friend’s sister. I’m Mr. and Mrs. Barrett’s weak-hearted daughter. I’m the liability he swore to take care of.”
Okay, let’s talk some more about Tom. I loved Tom, completely. But sometimes Darcy’s over aggression and scary behavior towards him was too much for me. And all the ugly jealously and nasty things she would say about his fiancé? Like, come on, let’s not. Also, Darcy does some very grey-area cheating attempts in this book that made me kind of uncomfortable!
And the last thing that bothered me was the not so great sibling relationship. Plus, Jamie just read so insufferable! You all know my brother is my best friend in this entire world and I just don’t really enjoy seeing not great sibling bonds in stories, even though the story constantly tries to make you feel like they at least had a good relationship for most their lives. Especially since Darcy and Jamie’s dynamic was so weird and I felt like I was missing so much. I really think this book would have benefited from way more actual flashbacks for Darcy, Jamie, and Tom’s childhood. Like, I think it would have improved this book so much.
Oh my gosh, I sound so negative, but I promise I did end up enjoying this read. The sex scenes were 11/10, I won’t lie. And the angst and the payoff felt so damn satisfying. Also, Sally Thorne just knows how to write amazing banter in general. From making me swoon, to making me cry, to making me laugh out loud, this author really can weave words together so damn well. Oh, and I loved Darcy’s best friend, Truly, so much! Like, give me her book please! But only her, you feel me?
Overall, this was a fun read even if it took me a little bit to warm up to Darcy and all the situations she had going on. Plus, I think this was a really fun and unique play on the friends to lovers trope. The writing is great, the pace is fast and fantastic, the banter will make you giggle, and the romance will have you fanning yourself! I for sure think that if you enjoyed The Hating Game that there is a good chance you will enjoy this one, too, even though it really is completely different. But I’m mostly excited to see what Sally Thorne does next!
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The quotes above were taken from an ARC and are subject to change upon publication.
Content and trigger warnings for talk of loss of a loved one, alcoholism, a very serious chronic heart condition (and threat of failure) throughout the entire book, assault (unwanted grabbing of her wrist in a threatening manner in a empty parking lot), and a few questionable comments/jokes made about people’s cultures (like going to bury nametags in the Japanese forest, Aokigahara).
Sally Thorne is a national treasure. . . and by national, I mean global. Man, I love her writing style, I love the unapologetic uniqueness of her voice, and I love how much she makes me feel.
Full review closer to release date. <3