The Art of Lovingby Published 21 Nov 2006
|The Art of Loving.pdf|
|Publisher||Harper Perennial Modern Classics|
The fiftieth Anniversary Edition of the groundbreaking international bestseller that has shown millions of readers how to achieve rich, productive lives by developing their hidden capacities for love
Most people are unable to love on the only level that truly matters: love that is compounded of maturity, self-knowledge, and courage. As with every art, love demands practice and concentration, as well as genuine insight and understanding.
In his classic work, The Art of Loving, renowned psychoanalyst and social philosopher Erich Fromm explores love in all its aspects—not only romantic love, steeped in false conceptions and lofty expectations, but also brotherly love, erotic love, self-love, the love of God, and the love of parents for their children.
The Art of Loving Reviews
More than just an average self-help book on (spoiler: you must love yourself and develop the capacity to love before you can love others), Fromm takes a socio-political-historical-psychoanalytic approach to the topic of Love. There are times when it does get a bit theoretical (which is a PLUS for me because I am a nerd), but the book is very much accessible. A friend recently commented that if more people read this book, there would be a lot more happy, functional relationships. True dat.
This book came at a very critical time in my personal development, so that may be why it was so profound. I think that anyone can take something away from it (I have a friend who reads this book once a year!). It may not affect you the same way, but at the very least, it will make you think about Love in a more complex, critical manner. Love as a way of living, rather than an object to be procured or given away.
And of course keep in mind the time period that this was written (50s), so there are some outdated references.
Gave up at 1/3 because it simply became unbearable.
If you are a very traditional conservative white middle-class cisgender person, who is familiar with the bible but still loves Freud: you have found your guide. If you are any other category of human, this book is probably not for you.
The constant denial of non-binary genders, the labelling of love between gay people as a mistake and a failure, the endless sexism in describing the roles of men and women, I could go on and on...
I can see a little spark in the text every now and then, some hopeful words that can be seen as wise and guiding. But if the wrapping of these messages is just one big pile of discrimination (not very lovable..) then I simply cannot take it.
If you have this book on your shelves and want to make it useful somehow: for a good workout, do some push ups every time you encounter the word 'penetration'.
I went through this book again partly because it has so much to say, and partly because I wanted to re-read Erich Fromm's instructions on how to meditate. I like the way he puts it, on pages 101 - 102:
“If I am attached to another person because I cannot stand on my own feet, he or she may be a lifesaver, but the relationship is not one of love. Paradoxically, the ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love. Anyone who tries to be alone with himself will discover how difficult it is. He will begin to feel restless, fidgety, or even to sense considerable anxiety. He will be prone to rationalize his unwillingness to go on with this practice by thinking that it has no value, is just silly, that it takes too much time, and so on, and so on. He will also observe that all sorts of thoughts come to mind which take possession of him. He will find himself thinking about his plans for later in the day, or about some difficulty in a job he has to do, or where to go in the evening, or about any number of things that fill his mind – rather than permitting it to empty itself. It would be helpful to practice a few very simple exercises, as for instance, to sit in a relaxed position (neither slouching, nor rigid), to close one’s eyes, and to try to see a white screen in front of one’s eyes, and to try to remove all interfering pictures and thoughts, then to try to follow one’s breathing; not to think about it, nor force it, but to follow it – and in doing so to sense it; furthermore to try to have a sense of 'I'; I = myself, as the center of my powers, as the creator of my world. One should, at least, do such a concentration exercise every morning for twenty minutes (and if possible longer) and every evening before going to bed.”
The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm
The Art of Loving, is a 1956 book, by psychoanalyst and social philosopher Erich Fromm, which was published as part of the World Perspectives Series, edited by Ruth Nanda Anshen. In this work, Fromm develops his perspective on human nature, from his earlier work, Escape from Freedom and Man for Himself – principles which he revisits in many of his other major works.
تاریخ نخستین خوانش: دز یکی از روزها سال 1974 میلادی
عنوان: هنر عشق ورزیدن؛ نویسنده: اریش فروم؛ مترجم: پوری سلطانی؛ تهران، امیرکبیر، 1348؛ در 235 ص؛ موضوع: عشق از نویسندگان آلمانی تبار امریکایی - سده 20 م
آنکه هیچ نمیداند، به چیزی عشق نمیورزد، آنکه عشق میورزد، بیگمان چیزی میداند. پایان نقل. بسیار یاد گرفتم از خواندن دوباره اش، همیشه آفرین بر هنر عشق، درک و تمیز جدائی و وصال، نسخه مرداد ماه سال 1353 هجری خورشیدی، با گفتاری از« جاب «مجید رهنما». ا. شربیانی
Have you ever held an idea so closely to the sides of your skull, you could never find the words or phrases to articulate it until someone stopped by and presented you with exactly what you had been searching for? Erich Fromm did this for me in the context of mature and fulfilling relationships. In the words of a good friend "more people should realized that 'serious' philosophers devote think about such things" - 'such things' being how interpersonal relationships are the bedrock of most human beings' sanity, and the fact that most of us have the incredible ability to create very unhealthy relationships.
Fromm tells us that first, being an happy, full person on your own, full of self-love, discipline, and productivity is necessary. Then, wishing for all the same in another human being, creates a bridge of emotion. Respect, awareness, and rationality then form the basis of "practicing" love.
Above all, Fromm tells us that loving someone is a decision, and as such, we have full control over our relationships with others and the satisfaction that we derive from them.
As a critique, I will say this: Fromm very obviously had little understanding (or concern with) homosexuality, or any other sexual identity not in line with heterosexual, adult couples. This ignorance on his part is apparent at a point in his writing, but I feel also colors his opinions on fatherhood and the relationship between parents and children. After all, if one believes that a parent's role is directly related to their gender to the extent that it restricts and forms their emotional attachments, then that person could not understand healthy and fulfilled couples of the same gender (or no gender) who successfully fill all the necessary roles of parenthood.